Growing Up
by aTreeCat
Summary: Whoever said growing up was all sunshine and rainbows was wrong, as Tsuna learns the hard way. Tsuna finally hits puberty, and his first task? The daunting art of shaving... And of course, his friends *try* to help
1. The Shiny-Shiny

Growing Up - 1

Disclaimer: I do not own KHR but I believe this story to be mine.

* * *

"HIEE?! W-why do you have that?" Tsuna backed away from Reborn, eyes wide with terror. This was not a sight he wanted to see so early in the morning. Then again, it wasn't a sight anyone would want to see at any time of the day.

"Training, of course!" was the innocent reply. Reborn watched his terrified student with a smug expression. In one hand, he held his Leon-gun, in the other was an innocuous looking–

"Knife! Why do you have a knife with you?" the pitiful student's gaze shifted nervously between the gun and the blade.

"Dame-Tsuna!" Reborn used neither weapon to get his student's attention, instead opting for a well-placed kick to the forehead.

"Itte!" Tsuna rolled onto his floor, covering his head in defense from future attacks.

Ignoring Tsuna's cry, Reborn continued. "This isn't a knife, Dame-Tsuna. This is a blade."

"Like there's a difference…" Tsuna muttered under his breath, sitting up warily.

With a glint in his eyes, Reborn finished: "A razor blade." Noting the confusion in his student's eyes, he sighed. "To shave."

"Ehh?" Tsuna self-consciously rubbed the area under his nose. It _was_ a bit rough…

Now that Tsuna thought about it, it really was about time for puberty to start… He was already 15– turning 16 in a few months– but he was still the shortest in his class, still had some baby-fat on his cheeks, and most embarrassingly, he still had a girly shriek. Maybe this small stubble was a good sign– he was finally growing up! But one look at his tutor's smirk told him otherwise. This was not the pleasant beginning of a step towards adulthood, but the hellish start of a new _training _period- whatever that meant. He gulped as his gaze slid toward the shaving razor that seemed to have the same sinister glint under the light as the one holding it. This new stage in his life was going to be painful at best and at worst… Tsuna shuddered just thinking about it.

Reborn's babyish voice startled him out of his day-mare, "Hurry up, Tsuna. We don't have all day."

"H-hai!" Tsuna scurried into the bathroom, tripping over a stray pen on his way.

Musing over his student's clumsiness, Reborn followed. This ought to be entertaining.

* * *

Tsuna stared at the blade in his hands. He had accepted it reluctantly, knowing Reborn would have used _any _method to force it into his hands. Luckily, Reborn was feeling merciful today, and gave him a real razor- not a knife or sword or bazooka or anything other than a simple blade. However, that in and of itself was a problem: Tsuna had never used a blade before, not even a kitchen knife. Ever since he had nicked himself with a small pencil-sharpener when he was 5– he still wasn't sure how, as it was one of the supposedly kid-proof sharpeners with the blade deeply embedded in the plastic block away from the surface– he had avoided any and all things sharp. He gulped, gathering his courage to conquer this mighty adversary as he had defeated all of his previous enemies. But still, the blade looked so… _menacing_… as if it would turn and bite him at a moment's notice. He tilted it to examine the edge, but as he was doing so, the light reflected off the blade into his eyes, momentarily blinding him. He dropped the razor with a yelp.

"Pathetic." Reborn's amused expression contrasted– or rather in Reborn's case, reinforced– his fake-pitying tone. He had found it boring when Tsuna accepted the blade without a fight, but now the fun was finally starting. Besides, if this turned out uneventful, he could always bring in his own devices to _help_ his student accomplish his task.

What little courage Tsuna had mustered was dashed by his tutor's comment. He slunk against the counter in defeat.

A new voice brought him out of his self-pitying thoughts: "Ararara? Lambo-san sees a shiny-shiny!"

Tsuna eyed the wild black puff with horns that was slowly inching toward the bathroom. "Lambo, what are you doing?" he asked with a sigh, exasperated enough by Reborn's early morning _tutoring_. Although he loved Lambo as a little brother, he had to admit that he was annoying at times, as in most of the time.

"Gyahahaha! It seems that Dame-Tsuna has seen through the great Lambo-sama's disguise!" A pair of round, green eyes peered at him through the tangled curls. Two hands popped out, clad in cow print, and pulled away the hair surrounding the eyes, revealing Lambo's contemptuous grin. Next to appear was a waggling tail that peeped out through from behind the fluffy mass, followed closely by the rest of his body dressed in his usual cow onesie.

Tsuna stared at him in shock. He had always been amazed at Lambo's hair– an unruly mess that could hold anything and everything ranging from his favorite grape candies to his Vongola gear to the 10-year-bazooka that was bigger than Lambo himself– but to hide his own body? Tsuna couldn't grasp his mind around it– all he could see was Lambo being swallowed by his hair getting lost in the 4th dimension it contained, which just hurt his mind even more because he didn't even understand what another dimension actually was– so he just gaped at the child before him.

Lambo, meanwhile, had other plans. He was going to sneak up on I-pin with his super-Lambo-ninja disguise, when he had heard a yelp from the bathroom, arousing his curiosity. Once he had arrived at the scene, his eyes were immediately drawn to the gleaming object on the floor, as all five-year-olds would be. Ignoring the blatant stares he got from his Dame-Tsuna-nii, he loudly proclaimed while pointing to the blade on the ground, "This sparkly shiny-shiny is now Lambo-san's!" He lunged for the object that had so enraptured him.

"Oi, Dame-Tsuna. Are you going to stop your Thunder Guardian from hurting himself?" Reborn liked the direction this was going.

Tsuna snapped out of his hair-induced stupor just in time to catch Lambo before he landed on the sharp blade. Firmly securing the thrashing Lambo under one arm, he used his free hand to gingerly pick up the razor from the floor. "Do you know what this is, Lambo?" Tsuna asked the little boy seriously.

Lambo had gone still when Tsuna picked up the object, eyes trained on it as if it were a precious grape candy. "Arara? Of course Lambo-san knows! It's a shiny-shiny! And of course Dame-Tsuna wouldn't know!" He stuck his tongue out, making a face at his captor.

* * *

At that moment, Tsuna's mom had gone upstairs to wake the children for breakfast. As she was approaching their room, she heard voices coming from the bathroom and went over to check if Lambo and I-pin were fighting for the empty toilet paper roll that they liked to make into a toy. Instead, she came across her son and Lambo.

"Ara? Tsu-kun, you're awake. Ah? Is that shaving cream on the counter? Is my little Tsu-kun learning how to shave?" At that, she tackled-hugged her 'little Tsu-kun.'

Tsuna quickly dropped the blade in his hands so that his mom wouldn't accidentally scratch herself against it.

"Gupyah!" A smothered voice exclaimed.

Reborn piped in, ignoring the sound,"Ciaossu, Maman. I'm teaching Tsuna how to shave today!"

"Ah! Thank you, Reborn-kun!" Nana exclaimed before grabbing Reborn into their group hug.

"Gotta… stay… calm…" a voice squeaked from somewhere amid the pile of people. The whole time, Lambo had been squashed between the mother and son and was starting to turn a bright blue.

"Oh? Sorry Lambo-kun, Maman was so excited to see her precious little Tsu-kun growing up that she didn't notice you there!" She promptly released her children from her tight embrace, brushing tears of joy from the corner of her eyes. "I'm going to make a big breakfast to celebrate. Lambo-kun, can you go wake I-pin and the others? Lambo-kun?"

Lambo had fallen on the floor with a dull thud after he had been released and was now huddled in a corner. Suddenly, he jumped up and yelled, "Die, Reborn! Why did you ignore me?!" He followed this with a string of grenades- pulled from his magical hair, of course.

Reborn casually swatted them with his Leon-bat out of the bathroom, through the room across the hall, and out the open window. Next, a flying Lambo soared out the same window. A boom shook the house.

"Ara? Is my porridge burning?" Sawada Nana had a confused expression on her face as she sniffed the air, unaware of what had just transpired before her. "I'll go down and check. Hurry down for breakfast after you shave, Tsu-kun!" And she left.

"Well, Tsuna? Shall we continue?" Reborn smirked. Deep down, he was kind of sad that the stupid cow had left– it meant fewer distractions for his already clumsy student. Yet, he was somewhat satisfied at the thwacking sound his Leon-bat made as it came in contact with the cow's behind and the short yip that followed. Calling it even with the with the annoying cow, he turned to his no-good student.

Tsuna, sensing the danger in the atmosphere, gulped.

_Ding-dong._ The doorbell rang.

Tsuna visibly brightened- maybe his friends could help him through his predicament!

Reborn just tugged the the brim of his fedora, not wanting his victorious smirk to dampen his student's hope– after all, the more he hopes, the more satisfying the result when it is crushed. Because more people means more chaos– especially in the Vongola family.

* * *

A/N: My first attempt at comedy- I hope you got at least a small grin out of this :)

Also my first attempt at using a multiple-chapter format, so please forgive any mishaps with that (I'm not sure how each chapter is individually titled...)

Hmm... and I'm not very experienced with shaving, but hopefully you can follow where I'm going with it

That said, the next chapter is with Gokudera and Yamamoto... and we all know how their instructions are, right...? *smirks a Reborn smirk*

And please review, it would make me very happy and any suggestions you make could possibly make you happy as well

Thanks for reading!


	2. The 'How to'

Growing Up - 2

A/N: So I had an experience almost as bad as writer's block: a broken funny bone. Haha... no. I tried, though (in the chapter, I mean).

Disclaimer: I do not own KHR.

* * *

_Ding-dong_

"I'm coming!" Sawada Nana called out as she dropped her ladle to open the door.

In walked two teenage boys– one scowling and one smiling.

"Ah! Ohayo, Gokudera-kun, Yamamoto-kun! You're just in time for breakfast!"

"Ohayo, Sawada-sama!" Gokudera greeted his Juudaime's mom with a stiff 100 degree bow.

"Ohayo, Sawada-san!" Yamamoto opted for a more casual wave. "Is Tsuna awake?"

Gokudera immediately slapped a hand over his companion's mouth. "Shh! If he's still asleep, we don't want to wake him!" he whisper-shouted.

"Aah… sorry about that. But you were pretty loud yourself," Yamamoto whispered back, scratching the back of his head with an easy smile.

"Sh-shut up, Yakyuu-baka!" he shouted, disregarding his own command.

"Maa, don't worry! Tsu-kun's awake and he's learning to shave today!" Nana's eyes sparked with pride. "Tsu-kun's finally growing up!"

"Eh?" the two boys looked at each other, both mildly surprised. Tsuna hadn't started shaving yet?

They rushed up the stairs two at a time, determined to help their friend with this import stage of adolescence. Yamamoto called out a "Thanks, Sawada-san" to the figure retreating back into the kitchen while Gokudera was silent, mind running through a million and one scientific reasons why his boss hadn't started puberty yet, before settling on the one that made the most sense in his mind.

"I'm sorry Juudaime! It's all our fault!" When they arrived at the bathroom, Gokudera had immediately dived into a dogeza in front of Tsuna, professing his supposed incompetence.

"HIIEE?" Tsuna dropped the blade again, which he had just picked up moments before. "What do you mean, Gokudera-kun? What's your fault?" He kneeled down next to his friend to placate him. Tsuna tried to rationalize Gokudera's apology, but all he could think of was the swing-set his friend had decimated while having an explosives showdown with Lambo. "You didn't mean to break the swing-set the other day, right? It's all ok, just be more careful next time!"

At this, Gokudera's bows increased in both frequency and force. "Juudaime is so kind! But I'm sorry for that too!"

Tsuna's eyebrows scrunched tighter in puzzlement.

Yamamoto laughed, then seeing Tsuna's bewildered expression, added, "Maa, Gokudera, I think you're just confusing Tsuna more!"

Reborn jumped from the counter onto Yamamoto's shoulder. "You should explain, Gokudera. Maybe my dame-student can learn something from you."

Gokudera sprang up, green eyes flashing with fervor. "Yes! I will clear up everything to Juudaime as The Right-Hand Man!" He whipped out his glasses and an Expo marker and started drawing on the mirror.

"Because we caused you so much stress"– little stick people with scary grins– " your brain"– a pudding-like glob– "focused too much energy"– sparkles and something that looked suspiciously like exploding bunnies– "on managing the stress"– more scary grins– "we caused"– more stick people– "and never told your hypothalamus"– a dot in the glob– "to start to secrete"– a waterfall gushing out from the dot– "the luteinizing hormone-releasing hormones"– flying fish?– "that tell your pituitary glands"– another dot in the glob– "to secrete"–

"Aah! Gokudera-kun! Too much information! I don't understand!" Tsuna held out his hands as if to block the onslaught of big words.

"Haha," Yamamoto added, "I don't get it either!"

"Basically, it's all our fault for causing you stress!" Gokudera concluded, again in a 100 degree bow. He peered up through his hair, over the rims of his glasses, to gauge Tsuna's reaction.

However, instead of his beloved Juudaime's visage, he saw ominous strands of pink hair floating in front of his face. He immediately squeezed shut his eyes and dropped the marker to clutch his rumbling stomach. "A-aneki! What are you doing here?"

"I awoke to your rambling speech, so I figured Tsuna, and thus my dear Reborn-chan would be here as well." She lifted Reborn off of Yamamoto's shoulder and held him in her arms.

"Ciaossu, Bianchi! We're teaching Tsuna how to shave," Reborn greeted the new arrival.

"Ohayo, Bianchi-san!" Yamamoto smiled cheerily.

"Ohayo, Bianchi, but could you please cover part of your face?" Tsuna gestured at the cowering Gokudera.

"Ah, Hayato's just being weak. There's no need to worry about him." She cupped her brother cordially on the cheek. "And I'm taking Reborn down to breakfast with me." Hugging the arcobaleno tightly, she headed downstairs.

Reborn called back towards his students, a suspicious smile spreading across his face, "Remember what Maman said: 'Hurry down _after _you shave!' I don't want to see even a _hint_ of facial hair when you come down." His words hung ominously in the air. For the time being though, he would leave the three to their own shenanigans, get a good meal in, then go and stir up more trouble when things start to quiet down. And that, he predicted, wouldn't be for a while.

* * *

Upstairs, Tsuna was trying to help soothe Gokudera's upset stomach while Yamamoto picked up the small blade.

"Hm? This is only the blade- where's the thingy that holds it?" Yamamoto asked in confusion. "Did the kid not give you one?"

Tsuna slapped his forehead– he hadn't noticed before Yamamoto pointed it out. "Reborn!" He cried out pitifully.

"Haha, maybe he accidentally took it with him. You should go and ask him for it," Yamamoto suggested.

Tsuna nodded, but his stomach churned at the idea. Reborn had definitely implied that he wouldn't be allowed downstairs until he had successfully shaved. But he couldn't do that without the whole razor.

"I-I can go get it for you, Juudaime!" Gokudera's well-meaninged offer was barely more than a strained whisper. He stood up on shaky legs and gave a feeble smile to Tsuna, who was watching him with concern.

"No, I'll go. After all, I'm the one who has to shave, right?" Reborn was going to beat him up anyway if he didn't go down soon enough, so better to get it over with quickly.

His two friends followed him to the top of the staircase. Tsuna bid them a morbid farewell, not sure if he'd make it back alive. He slowly descended the stairs, one step, then another. The fourth stair suddenly squeaked under his foot, momentarily distracting and therefore off-balancing Tsuna, who tumbled down the rest of the stairs.

Only to find himself face-planting against the upstairs wall within seconds.

"JUUDAIME! ARE YOU OK?" Gokudera cried in surprise when his boss came flying up the stairs straight into a wall.

"Tsuna! You're back quicker than we'd thought! Did you get it?" Yamamoto laughed, not finding the situation strange at all.

"Hmph."

The three turned to the source of the presumptuous sound.

"Yo, Kozou!" Yamamoto called out amicably.

Reborn smirked up at the boys from the bottom of the staircase, his Leon-gun still smoldering while it reverted back to its original form. "You missed some." Rubbing the area under his nose, he bounded back to the kitchen to resume his breakfast.

Gokudera, who by that time had regained most of the color to his face, turned to Tsuna and suggested, "Maybe your dad keeps an extra in the bathroom."

"Ah, good idea, Gokudera!" Yamamoto agreed, guiding the other two toward the bathroom, an arm slung around each friend.

"I wasn't talking to you, Baseball-freak!" Gokudera snapped.

Yamamoto just grinned.

Tsuna smiled at their bickering, glad that his friends were by his side to help. "Thanks guys."

* * *

It appeared that his gratitude came too soon, though, as a loud crash resounded from Tsuna's bedroom. When they went to check it out, Tsuna let out his infamous "HIIIEEE!" There were shards of glass everywhere while his books and homework had been scattered by the wind, landing all over the floor. In the middle of the mess was a sniffling black mop.

In an instant, the mop clung to Tsuna, loudly stuttering, "TSUNA! Re-re-reborn! and-and Hi-hi-hi-hiiiibari-san and-and BOOM! and-and biting and-and shaving-"

Shaving? The three looked at each other.

"and-and WAAAHHH!" Lambo's disjointed story quickly disintegrated into sobs. They couldn't really blame him though, because an encounter with Hibari was like a brush with death, enough to make a grown man quiver, but–

"Stop crying, you stupid cow! This is important! What did Hibari say about shaving?" Gokudera unmercifully shook the kid, but it was too late– Lambo had already passed out from the shock. With a "che," he threw the useless cow onto the bed– onto a spot without glass shards of course, because Juudaime would be sad if his youngest guardian got hurt.

"Huh? What's that?" Tsuna pointed at an object awkwardly protruding from Lambo's hair. It wasn't one of the toys he usually stuffed in there.

Yamamoto walked closer to examine. "Oh! It's a razor! Good job, Tsuna." He beamed at his friend.

"As expected of Juudaime!" Gokudera proclaimed proudly.

Tsuna blushed slightly– all he did was point it out; he still had no idea how it got there.

* * *

Meanwhile, Lambo twitched in his fitful sleep, reliving in his dreams– or nightmares, rather– the short encounter that had cost him years of his life.

The earlier explosion had sent him all the way to Namimori Middle School, where he just _happened _to crash land into the Disciplinary Office. Lambo, who had been wailing and cursing loudly at Reborn, suddenly went still as he felt a predatory aura behind him. Trembling, he turned around, only to see the devil incarnate.

Hibari was in the middle of shaving when he had heard a loud shattering sound from his office. Muttering under his breath about biting to death whichever herbivore dared disturb the peace of his school on an early Saturday morning, he stalked out the the bathroom, razor still in his hand. In the middle of his precious office was a sniveling boy– the annoying cow brat Sawada Tsunayoshi had taken in to be his lightning guardian. He was about to merely drop him out the window, considering that this boy belonged to the omnivore, but he his mind quickly changed.

Lambo couldn't help himself. Even the great Lambo-sama couldn't help but wet himself under the menacing glare of the head prefect. He had just barely made out an "I'll bite you to death for disrupting the peace and my shaving" before he was soaring through the air again– he didn't even know what had struck him.

Hibari, who had been momentarily blinded by anger and indignation when he saw the liquid dripping from the cow's pants onto his school's rug, didn't realize had he had done either at first. He didn't have his tonfas as he had thought– in fact, he didn't have anything in his hands. His frown deepened– his razor was gone too. He must have used it as a makeshift tonfa, only to have it get caught in the brat's hair. He shrugged. Now the omnivore owed him a razor– or a fight.

Lambo tossed and turned on the bed, the demonic face seared deep in his memory.

* * *

In the bathroom, Tsuna gulped as he eyed the razor that seemed to stare at him with gleaming silver eyes from the countertop.

"Maa, Tsuna! It's easily!" Yamamoto cheered on his friend.

Tsuna looked up at him, face radiant with hope. "Really? Can you show me?"

"Of course! That's what friends are for!" He gave Tsuna an encouraging smile, then proceeded with his explanation, hands gesturing wildly.

"You first squeeze a _gyuup_ sized dollop of shaving cream into your hands," he grabbed the can, but didn't squeeze it, "then you spread it on your face like _bloop bloop, smu smu_. And you take the razor like this and go like _bwoosh_ and you're done!" He had grabbed a toothbrush instead of the razor and looked like he was brushing teeth just below his nose.

Tsuna mentally slapped himself– in the spur of the moment, he had forgotten that Yamamoto's explanations were just as bad as Gokudera's. He offered a half-hearted smile, "Thanks, Yamamoto. I guess I'll try it."

Gokudera, who was investigating the razor– he himself used an electric razor at home– started his own explanation without preamble because he, after all, was The Right-Hand Man who was supposed to know all of the answers in order to help his boss in any and all situations. "For best results, you should spread a layer of cream .736 centimeters thick, then hold the razor so that the blade forms a 17.2 degree angle that slants 2.3 degrees to the left and move it across from left to right and up to down at a speed of .98 centimeters per second, then–"

"Ah, Gokudera-kun, it's ok, I'll figure it out," Tsuna quickly shushed his other friend before he gave him a headache.

He exhaled. Then he closely examined himself in the mirror for the first time that day: his so called "mustache" consisted of about ten hairs, each barely more than a hairbreadth in length. And Reborn was making such a deal out of _this_? It couldn't even be considered _fuzz_. He couldn't imagine what a real mustache would look on himself– his eyes were much too big. In fact, his whole face was too feminine to accommodate for such a manly feature. He sighed, knowing he was at the mercy of Reborn's every whim. Resigned to the fact, he reached for the can of shaving cream, deciding to just get it over with– but stopped. The back of his neck tingled.

"Mu-mukuro-kun?"

"Kufufu, let me help you, my little Tsunayoshi-kun."

"HIIIEEEE!"

* * *

A/N: So I still don't know anything about shaving- so expect all explanations to be somewhat to very wrong. And about the razor/blade issue they had: Reborn had given them one of the old, manual razors with disposable blades ('cuz he's Reborn) that are much more dangerous than the modern electric ones (can anyone tell me if you still need shaving cream for the electrical ones?)

But the puberty stuff was mostly right- but the lateness was more likely because either it runs in the family or from the physical (not emotional, as Gokudera was implying) stress- in case anyone was wondering

I think I'll conclude this with the next chapter... maybe? (Depends on whether I can figure out how to incorporate Ryohei or Hibari more)

Thank you all who read, faved, and followed. Special thanks to those who reviewed: I hope I didn't disappoint (too much)


	3. The Mukuro and the Mustache

Growing Up - 3

A/N: The long awaited Mukuro. Hope you like it.

Disclaimer: I do not own KHR.

* * *

"HIIIEEEE! You're going to help me shave?!"

"Kufufufu, I don't know what you're talking about. I'm here to help with your imagination." Mukuro popped up through the toilet cover– as in his body slid through the top of the closed toilet lid. His blue and red eyes danced with mischief. "You were wondering what you'd look like with a full mustache, weren't you, Tsunayoshi-kun." It wasn't really a question.

Gokudera and Yamamoto gave the two a quizzical look.

"What's he saying, Tsuna?" Yamamoto asked.

Mukuro cut Tsuna off before he could respond. "It would be easier if I just showed you."

Gokudera's and Yamamoto's eyebrows immediated unfurrowed and their jaws dropped, looking as if they just saw a squirrel growing out of Tsuna's nose.

"Ju-juudaime…"

Tsuna gave his two friends a worried look. "Wh-what is it? What's wrong?" His nose itched as he talked. Maybe there really was a squirrel under his nose.

"Tsuna, I think you should take a look at the mirror," Yamamoto suggested. The shock had worn off and he now wore a grin that was goofier than usual.

Tsuna cautiously turned around, wondering what could have caused such a reaction in his friends. "HIIEE! What- what is that?!" He pointed at his reflection– more specifically, the thing that had marred his reflection. A thick brush-like _thing _was camping out under his nose that tickled whenever he spoke.

"Vongola Nono?" Gokudera looked taken aback, then he spun toward Mukuro, spitting out words. "What did you do to Juudaime? Why does he have Nono's mustache on his face? And why does it make Juudaime look like a walrus?" Tsuna still thought it looked more like a squirrel's tail.

"Well? How do you like it?" Mukuro asked, ignoring the Gokudera's spoutings with the same mischievous expression as before.

Tsuna's eyes darted sideways before answering, avoiding the illusionist's eyes. "It's, um, very… interesting?"

"Kufufu. I guess you don't really like it then. How about this one?"

After a small hesitation, Tsuna examined his new look. Now a plump, brown mustache similar to the one the man on his Monopoly board had draped across his upper lip, but the ends twirled upwards into swirls like Reborn's sideburns. When he tried to smile, the curls bumped against his nose, making him want to sneeze.

"It's just like the kid's!" Yamamoto laughed. Tsuna had to admit that he did look quite ridiculous.

"What do you think of this one then, Tsunayoshi-kun?" Mukuro inquired all too happily, staring at him with his gleaming heterochromatic eyes and mysterious smile.

"Eto… ah… ACHOO!" Tsuna pulled the tickling ends of the mustache away from his face and they stretched a good 15 centimeters before springing back in place. He wondered how Reborn's sideburns had always maintained that buoyancy.

"Kufufu, I think I've got the perfect look for you." A look of pure manianicle glee crossed the illusionist's face, but was quickly squashed with a milder smirk which only scared Tsuna more. "Now close your eyes."

Tsuna did not have a good feeling about what was to come, but did as he was asked in the hopes of ridding Mukuro sooner. After all, a bit of intense fun was better than a week of petty pranks– he shuddered just thinking about the pink bow that appeared in his hair at random times during the school day. But he quickly reconsidered. The bathroom was now engulfed in an eerie silence as Gokudera's threats stopped and Yamamoto's laughs died out.

"You can open your eyes now, Dame-Tsuna." Tsuna did and saw Reborn in the doorway with a smirk that was fighting to turn into an amused grin. Of course Reborn wouldn't want to miss the humiliation of his student, especially when done in ways that he could only wish he could instigate himself– fortunately for Tsuna. But unfortunately, an amused Reborn was never a good omen.

A burst of laughter brought Tsuna's thought back to his friends. Whatever had overcome them earlier was now gone, as Yamamoto was almost snorting with laughter while Gokudera looked conflicted over either whacking the other for laughing at his boss or laughing at his boss himself.

"Is it really that bad?" Judging from their reaction, he wasn't sure if he wanted to know the answer.

"Sorry, Tsuna." Yamamoto had regained some of his composure and grinned widely at his friend. "We didn't mean to laugh."

"What do you mean, baseball freak! You were the only one who laughed! I'm sorry for not stopping him, Juudaime!" Gokudera bowed deeply.

Tsuna sighed, feeling something brush lightly against his cheeks. "It's ok." At least, he hoped it was ok. He tried reassured his friends and himself before turning toward the mirror.

"HIIEEE!"

It was not ok.

Two long sticks of hair each started from under his nose and curved downwards past his cheeks, then lifted up again to form a slight 'w' across his face, each side ending in a point. In addition was a wide, brown streak extending from the bottom of his lips to his chin. To top it all off, the hairs on the sides of his face had extended downwards into lightning bolts that looked like tattoos.

"Kufufufu… perfect." Without looking, Tsuna could see the illusionist's twisted smile.

"Ten years later Levi-A-Thon?" Gokudera exclaimed while fighting to keep from gaping at his boss. It had looked silly on the Varia's Lightning, but made Tsuna look like a kid who had just applied face paint with his toes while his eyes were closed- which is to say, absolutely preposterous.

"It looks quite good on you, Tsuna!" Tsuna wasn't sure if Yamamoto was being serious or not. He certainly hoped not, otherwise he'd start to requestion his friend's sanity.

A rustle brought their attention to the door.

"Levi-A-Thon is ranked 7th out of 47,683 for silliest looking facial hair in the mafia." Fuuta's head popped in through the doorway. A thoughtful frown crossed his face. "Hmm… but Tsuna-nii may have just knocked him down to 8th."

"Fuuta! What are you doing here?" Tsuna quickly moved to cover his face with his hands, but it was already too late.

"Ohayo, Tsuna-nii! I just came to remind you that breakfast is getting cold." He paused, furrowing his eyebrows as if to recall something important. "Oh yeah, you might want to hide that first– Maman said she would bring breakfast to-"

"Oh? Tsu-kun, you're not done shaving yet?" Unfortunately, Fuuta's warning came too late, as Tsuna's mom peered in from the hallway, carrying a tray of food and a sweet smile. "Ara? When did you grow so much hair?" Her smile had morphed briefly into a puzzled frown before an understanding light dawned upon her eyes. "Did they invent a hair-growing reverse razor? People are so creative these days!"

Tsuna inwardly groaned and awkwardly tried to cover his blush along with his new facial hair behind one hand while using the other to usher his mom away. "Just leave breakfast in my room, ok?" He shut the door a bit too hastily, as it closed with a bang.

He suddenly found himself face planted into the ground with a pressure on his head and whiskers brushing the floor.. "That's no way to treat Maman, Dame-Tsuna. Go apologize after you fix the rest of this mess."

"Itte, Reborn!" When the weight lifted, Tsuna slowly got back up, rubbing his sore head. His hand tickled whenever it brushed against his mustache.

The space suddenly seemed much smaller when the door was closed; the five occupied a mere few square meters– 3.27, not including the space occupied by the small stand and sink, Gokudera had mentioned once after scouting every cubic millimeter of his house on one of his biweekly patrols. Gokudera was now doing his best to maintain a straight face, but looked more like he was choking on a hairball, the way his facial muscles were twitching. Meanwhile, Yamamoto had an unabashed grin spreading from ear to ear and gave Tsuna what was supposed to be an encouraging thumbs up, but just made Tsuna turn a deeper shade of red. Reborn was sitting on Yamamoto's shoulder and didn't bother to suppress a snort when Tsuna had turned to face them. Mukuro was watching him as a cat would a mouse- his eyes gleamed and he let out a low chuckle.

"Kufufu. I shall now leave you to your own devices." And he vanished, sinking back through the toilet on which he had sat.

Tsuna let out a relieved sigh, wondering in the back of his mind if Mukuro realized that toilets did not add to the creepy image he was trying to maintain, then realized that if Mukuro was gone… he quickly felt around his face. It was gone! A wide, wobbly grin spread across his now bare face.

"Oi, Dame-Tsuna. What's with that silly expression? You're not done yet." A sharp reminder from his tutor prodded Tsuna to his feet, much of his relief fading away.

"Don't worry, Tsuna! We're here to help!" Yamamoto chirped as he threw an arm around his friend's shoulder.

"Of course! I'm his right hand man, after all!" Gokudera added, eyes shining.

"Maa, Gokudera, I thought we've established that you're the earlobe."

"Shut up, Yakyuu-baka! Then you're the mustache that Juudaime is about to shave off!"

Tsuna sagged under the last comment, mind returning to the task at hand. The razor gleamed dangerously as if it were threatening to eat him alive, which it probably was. He reached a tentative hand towards it before he felt a weight settle on his head.

"Shaving cream first, Dame-Tsuna." Tsuna could see the dangerous smirk reflected in the mirror.

He grabbed the can and gave it a good shake. He sprayed some of the white foam onto his hands and rubbed it onto his face. "HIIEEE?"

The sudden shriek stopped the two boys' argument and they examined Tsuna with a slight frown. All he had done was spread some shaving cream, what was the matter?

Reborn's smirk widened. His dame-student had fallen for the classic shaving cream whipped cream switch. It was quite a pathetic sight.

Tsuna had accidentally licked his lips when some of the foam had gotten onto his mouth and felt that something was off. Since when was shaving cream sweet?Unless...

"Reborn!"

"Took you long enough, Dame-Tsuna. You surprised me. I thought it would take only forty-five minutes before you touched the bottle. It took you an hour and twelve minutes instead. Your dame-ness never ceases to amaze me." Reborn paused. "But I suppose it was better than that other dame-student of mine."

"Dino-san?"

"The first time he shaved, he nearly swallowed the razor along with the whipped cream. Then he spilled water onto Enzio." Reborn jumped off Tsuna's head and opened the door. "Better hurry, Tsuna. There's still more growing up to do!" And with that, he was gone.

Tsuna cringed at the image Reborn had left in his mind. He supposed that it really could have been worse. But those thoughts quickly dispersed when he realized he still didn't have shaving cream.

He ran out moments after Reborn, but the hitman was already gone. Tsuna heaved another sigh and trudged to his room, hoping to delay the confrontation.

He opened the door and was confronted not by Reborn, but the 'what could have been worse.' On his bed were four spiked metal cuffs attached to thick rubber bands that led under his bed.

Not wanting to hear the answer but asking regardless, Tsuna pointed to the mysterious contraption. "What-what is that?"

A can flew at his head along with an answer. "Training. You wanted to grow taller, didn't you?"

"HIE? Not like that!"

"Now hurry Dame-Tsuna. I'll finish your food if you're not back soon enough." He was booted back to the hallway with a kick.

"HIIIEEEE!"

* * *

And so, after an hour and thirty-seven minutes, Tsuna emerged from the bathroom without a hair under his nose. After a night in Reborn's stretching device, Tsuna was bedridden for a week. A few months later, after his first pimple appeared, Reborn had popped it with a Leon-hammer to the face along with a near concussion. After those _wondrous _few years of puberty, Tsuna emerged a (surprising 10 cm) taller, hygienic (almost to the point of OCD), and clean-shaven (though his mustache seemed to have never grow back afterwards, not a single hair) man. An image fit for a mafia boss.

Reborn smirked at his victory.

* * *

A/N: And they all lived happily ever after. (Hopefully)

If you don't know/forgot what Levi-A-Than looks like, you should look it up and laugh for a good few minutes. Then imagine what Tsuna would look like with that.

Sorry the ending felt quite rushed (mostly because I don't want to butcher the shaving process), though I like my epilogue.

And thank you and sorry to those who enjoyed my comedy, because I'm pretty sure I won't write another long pure comedy for a long while- it's too draining and I'm not a very funny person. But maybe if I'm in the mood, I'll do a short one. But if you have time, maybe check out my other fic and tell me what you think- it's more contemplative and a lot shorter.

Well, thanks for reading and following my comedic endeavors! And a special thank you those who took the time to review :)


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